Brock Chapman

If you’re like me, all you want to do is take a good look at your girlfriend’s vagina without some of the terrible consequences. With a flashlight or flood lamp. Because you’re not really sure if she’s got a vagina or Pat Morita between her legs. Let’s face it guys, the vagina is an enigma to us all. Sure, we can consult our old biology textbooks for diagrams and terminology, but as Marvin Gaye and Tammy Terrell once sang, “Ain’t Nothing Like the Real Thing.”

Entertainment
• Bro-ey Buttafucco (former child-molester)
• Uncle Bro-ey Gladstone (Full House uncle/most underrated comedian of all time/Detroit Red Wings fan)
• Brody Jenner
• Bro-athon Hyde Pierce (ambiguously g*y brother of Kelsey Grammer)
• Buffa-bro Bill (Hannibal Lector's failed science experiment)

Politics
• Barack Brobama (Bro Elect)
• Broseph Stalin (most terrifying Russian mustache of the 20th century)

I’m not going to apologize. No fucking way. You guys think your bar is tits on a rope. Let me tell you something; you’re crap. You’re the wart on Heidi’s labia majora courtesy of Spencer. You’re the LA Clippers. Oh, you’re bar is awesome because your DJ plays Like a Prayer, Living on a Prayer and You Shook me All Night Long in succession?  F you. Try playing some real music, like Fall Out Boy. Dick.