Drew Peterson

Some of you out there may be thirsty for some more of ole Drew, and I’ve got a nice cold pounder coming your way: me, Drew himself, about to recap some of the hilarious jokes I’ve cracked over the last few weeks. I should have gotten the nose to the grindstone a bit sooner on writing these down, but I’ve been busy grinding somethin’ else: my gears! Plus, this commute between the Will County Courthouse and the Will County Jail is killing my knees. Come on guys, let’s take the Metra so I can at least have a brew on the way between my standup comedy shows.

Here I am, minding my own business cards (for my new gig with HBO’s Cathouse) and the cops (which I pretty much am, by the way) have the gumption to interrupt? I’m a busy man, a lot going on with ole Drew, and you fellas think you can just whisk me away for no real reason? I’ve got a lot on my dance card, boys, and doing time for a “crime I committed in 2004” sure as my ex-wife’s charm bracelet ain’t one of em.

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As we all know, my wife recently ran off with another man, which has left me a fairly lonely gent with a pretty decent pension.

You know what, something’s been bothering me. And I’ve just been itchin’ to let someone know, so let me get this off my chest: What the heck is going on with the new Facebook design?! I mean seriously guys, let’s go back to what we had before. Why fix it if it ain’t broke? And I think that a few Facebook group members (like a few thousand!) would agree with me on this one. Bring back the old Facebook!