Frank Lee Madere

Welcome back to Unconventional Wisdom. Today I’d like to help those of you who, like me, have become frustrated with our society’s system for chronicling the conquests of the date night. The system currently used to describe romantic conquests is based on a metaphor from the game of baseball. In this metaphor the bases of the game each correlate to a single step on the stairs of sexual advancement, with the home plate representing coitus, or the top of the stairs.

Welcome to my column. Unconventional Wisdom is a collection of… well whatever tends to fall out of my head each time I sit down in front of a computer. Basically my mind has become so full of these little bits of less than regular wisdom that now and then it spills out all over my desk. So I grab a Quilted Bounty Paper Towel, because they’re the quilted quicker picker upper. Plus the generic brands leave too much wisdom behind on my desk, which is not only a terrible thing to waste, but it also gets all sticky and crap and I just don’t feel like dealing with that right now.