Ken Bowman

In November residents of Indiana voted for the future President of the United States and they also voted on a referendum to not recognize the upcoming year 2009. Members of the state senate officially approved the referendum on December 30, 2008, two days before the New Year. 
 

Accidents caused by unrestrained toddlers are rising at an alarming rate, according to Chicago Parents magazine. Woodfield Mall is becoming proactive and mandating that all children under the age of seven wear a toddler restraint system. 

Steve Fuller who has been chief of security for 15 years at Woodfield Mall fought for the new equipment.

Douchebag Local Union 847 is suing hotchickswithdouchebags.com after they realized that the website was not glorifying Douchebags, but yet defaming them. Hotchickswithdouchebags.com, which is run by Hot Chicks Local Union 312, has recently had its share of trouble. Initially they were only sued by one Douchebag, but they now deal with the wrath of the entire union. Douchebag Local Union 847 has long been partnered with Hot Chicks since the inception of house music back in the mid-eighties. 

Falling prices have always been the norm for the Wal-Mart franchises. Now, Chicago residents will have to be extra observant of the gained velocity as prices are failing from the soaring height of 1,730 feet from the new Wal-Mart Tower, formerly the Sears Tower.