Giuliani Dresses As Twin Towers for Halloween
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Former New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani unveiled his controversial Halloween costume this week while at a fundraising event for the Republican ticket in Flint, Michigan. Dwarfed by two rectangular, floundering cardboard structures jutting out from his shoulders, Giuliani triumphantly entered the banquet hall and ceremoniously spun in a circle for the shocked crowd. Amidst a startling silence, he pointed to the towers and said, "Imagine if they'd actually been cardboard, huh? I love Halloween!"
Giuliani drew harsh criticism from New Yorkers last Halloween when he attended a veteran's rally dressed as the current mayor of New York, Michael Bloomberg. This year, however, his homemade Twin Towers will likely draw national attention.
Constructed from a refrigerator box Giuliani recovered from the Dumpster behind Rockefeller Center, the twin towers featured the greatest of details, including red cellophane to simulate fire and tiny New Yorkers populating many of the windows. Giuliani explained that audio featuring FOX's coverage of the day's events was available upon request.
When asked about his choice to wear a costume with such emotional and volatile implications, the former Time Magazine "Person of the Year" responded, "I wanted to put together an outfit that America would never—and should never—forget." He then produced two hand-sewn, felt finger-puppets from his suit coat.
"Oh, I almost forgot the best part!” Giuliani exclaimed. “This one here's supposed to be a plane, but a wing fell off in the hallway. The other one, well, that one's me. I call him Little Rudy."
After several more questions surrounding the tastefulness of his Halloween getup, the former U.S. Attorney attempted to lighten the mood. "Look, I was going to go as Sarah Palin," he said, adjusting a sagging tower, "but Rove couldn't find me a good wig." Little Rudy, clearly amused by his puppeteer's quip, nodded wildly.
"And frankly, there's no way I could get a fake shotgun through security anyway,” said Giuliani. “That, even more than the wig thing, really tipped the scale. Because if you're gonna be Sarah Palin, you gotta at least carry a rifle around. Or pop out a kid. And I don't think I've got the energy to deliver Algebra and Math III tonight."
The McCain/Palin campaign declined to comment on the controversy.
