Hide and Seek Fiasco Breaks out at Summer Camp, Several Campers Still Hiding, Dead

By the time Randy Parker was done counting backwards from 100 – and well before he could exclaim: “Ready or not, here I come!” – he had already asked a nearby group of older campers if they wanted to go for a bike ride. And that was right before suggesting a brief fishing trip and the possibility of having a rock-skipping contest, among other things.

Under normal circumstances, hide and seek would not be dangerous at all. Unfortunately, with Parker as the designated seeker, a 7-year-old member of Camp Winnetka’s ADD Correctional Sector, those kids will never be found, especially not by Parker.

“Truthfully, it’s sort of a shock that something like this hasn’t happened in the past,” said Bob Erwin, a veteran camp counselor at Camp Winnetka. “Seeing as the vast majority of our campers suffer from some sort of social disorder, it’s a miracle that something like this doesn’t happen every year ... I worry most about our OCD kids right now, because they’ll just keep hiding until they’re found … They’re dedicated to everything they do, even hiding, you know?”

Of the 25 or so kids that went off to hide, all but 7 have unveiled themselves for food and drink. Not-so-surprisingly, all 7 of the missing children are indeed at Camp Winnetka to remedy their respective Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. “Some of the missing children have probably hidden and re-hidden, maybe even as many as 20 or 30 times, so search-and-rescue dogs are of no use to us,” said Officer Dale Humboldt of the Winnetka Police Department.

“Call off the search … They’re all already dead, I saw them all get eaten by a bear like 4 hours ago,” said Timothy Dalia, a sociopath from Camp Winnetka’s APD Correctional Sector. Some campers think their fellow campmates are dead, others are indifferent and bored by the search efforts, and some will not sleep until every nook and cranny has been explored, again and again. And again.