Local Retards Prefer Hot Weather to Cold
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Local fucking moron Jim Stanz has decided that he enjoys warm weather more than he enjoys cold, because he’s really fucking smart.
“Chicago in the winter kind of sucks,” said Stanz “But you wouldn’t fucking know that in the summer. People are out pretty much everywhere.”
Apparently, local fucking morons are just now realizing that warm weather is preferable to the wintry destruction that is Chicago. Local dipshit Liz McGee totally agrees on the issue.
“Like, seriously, if there were a freakin’ Facebook page for Summer, I’d totally be the first freakin’ person to sign up,” said McGee. “Honestly, I am a fan!”
(Editor’s note: There is in fact a Facebook page for summer, and Liz would in fact be the approximate 2,503,027th fan.)
Local fucking retards have cited their reasons for preferring warm weather to be mostly fun related.
“We can totally drink brews and play cornhole,” said Stanz. “I mean, this shit just doesn’t happen in the winter.”
Chicago wasn’t available for comment on the total fucking retards’ views.
