My Polo Logo is Bigger than Your Polo Logo
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Nice shirt you got there. It’s got a little guy on a horse on it so that everyone knows Ralph Lauren sewed it himself. Fuck that shit. I’ve got a Polo logo the size of my 12” dick. That’s right; my Polo logo is bigger than your Polo logo. I might as well ride into Durkin’s on a goddamn horse with a polo stick and order a whiskey for me and a Bud Light for my horses. Just kidding, I don’t drink that Dutch shit anymore. My horse can have a goddamn Coors light and tap the fucking American Rockies while I tap your girlfriend’s ass on the back of my Polo horse. And my Polo horse has a saddle with a Polo logo on it, and that Polo logo is bigger than your Polo logo too.
Oh, and guess what? Lacoste just called me - that’s right it’s a guy named Lacoste - and he is sending me a shirt with a life-size alligator logo on it. It wraps around my body three times. It’s like an alligator that just ate a pig; it’s that big. So you can take your pink Polo shirt with a logo the size of my urethra back to Milwaukee, you Brewer fan piece of shit, and cry while I take your girlfriend on the back of my polo horse and ride to New York to have sex with her on top of Brett Favre. That’s right. I went there. What if Jesus had come back from the dead and told everyone that he was joining up with the Romans? That’s what you must feel like right now.
So why don’t you head back to your Polo outlet store in Wisconsin Dells and see if you can find a Polo logo where you can actually see the guy’s face. My Polo logo is like watching HD. You can see every hair on my goddamn polo player’s face in my Polo logo. It’s that big. Why don’t you give up and just start wearing Hurley. You look like the kind of guy that would wear a graphic tee well into his thirties anyway. So why don’t you get out the Polo game, put on some Hurley, and ride your skateboard to the nearest Tripping Billies concert, douchebag.
