Roland Burris Alters Order at Taco Bell Drive-Thru
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Junior congressman Roland Burris rolled his 1982 Cadillac through the drive-thru at the Taco Bell on North Clybourne and had been accused by several late shift workers that the junior senator had altered his order several times.
17-year-old Taco Bell veteran Nathan Rockford adjusted his headset and said, "The guy came on the intercom and said he wanted three chicken Chalupas, an order of cinnamon twists, and a caramel apple empanada. When I read back the order, he had a different story altogether."
When questioned about his varying order, Burris defensively replied, "I was not asked specific questions about my order. Had I been asked specific questions regarding my order, we would have been on clear grounds on my Gordita order." Through the crackle of the drive-thru speaker, Rockford immediately chimed, "Chalupas!" Burris ignored the him and stated, "I will continue to be transparent and hungry for my fourth meal."
"Peace, I'm out," spit Rockford over the speaker.
Several ravenous post-party revelers waiting in line behind Burris were calling for him to step aside from the drive-thru and let others take reins of the intercom of the authentic Mexican restaurant. Mandy Balis of Hyde Park just completed her late shift as a server at Bar Chicago and sat directly behind Burris's car, awaiting her turn to order. "I just want him to be clear so we can all get along with our lives and I can eat my damn Crunchy Taco Cupreme."
"You said you were getting the Cheesy Double Beef Burrito!" yelled one waiting customer three cars back.
Burris turned back to his naysayers and defiantly honked his horn back at the grumbling fourth-mealers. "If I had swayed back and forth between the various delicious value menu items as I've been accused of, I would be too embarrassed to stay in this line because all of these customers are my friends," he gestured towards the seething line of cars. A man five cars back gave Burris the one-fingered salute.
"I think he should get out of line," Harold Leving, a local fisherman said Tuesday. "He doesn't seem to know what he wants. We got enough people who change up their orders from the intercom to the first window."
Some customers thought Burris should stay and figure out his meal.
"If we're that hungry, then you can just go to the next Taco Bell down the street!" exclaimed long-time caterer Carl Denning. "How much time could he really waste while he decides on his order?"
The escalating honking of cars behind Burris increased the pressure on the U.S. Senator, and he was finally able to agree on an order. "Pull up to the window please," a voice said pointedly over the speaker. Burris complied and was greeted by good friend and former Illinois governor, Rod Blagojevich, donning a Taco Bell visor and headset.
"Hey, Rolo! $10.68," said the helmet-haired serial media blitzer. "Can I keep the change?"
Burris survived this drive-thru mishap, but when asked about how his future take-out orders would proceed, he replied, "In all of my years of ordering from America's finest fast food establishments, I have never once had any hint of backing down from my original order. Now if you'll excuse me, I will now go home to enjoy my Quarter Pounder with Cheese."
