Volunteer to Alderman Vi Daley caught Leaving “Official Business” on the Side of his White, Otherwise Unmarked Van

Timothey Cutchens, part-time volunteer for Alderman Vi Daley of the 43rd Ward and full-time white, unmarked GMC conversion van owner, was caught this week spray painting the words “Official Business” on the side of his van while parked outside of Hawthorne Elementary school during recess times. This marks the second alderman-related outrage this week, as the 44th Ward’s Zodak Yonan was caught skirting around parking fees. Similar to Cutchens, Yonan placed an “Official Business” sign in his dashboard, thus eliminating any questions from police officers or parking officials. Residents are outraged that assistants to the alderman both get to park at meters and outside of playgrounds for free.

Cutchens was caught early Thursday afternoon, parked parallel to Hawthorne Elementary’s  four square court between the monkey bars and the tetherball pole while he sat in the front seat of his white van. Freshly painted on the side, perfectly in line with the tinted driver’s seat window, were the words “Official 43rd Ward Business.”
 
When questioned, Cutchens claimed that Yonan’s actions gave him the official OK. “If that 84-year-old windbag can get away with not sticking quarters into the city’s meters, I can stick whatever I want in the hole by the twisty slide,” said Cutchens. “And if Vi says she doesn’t know anything about this ‘Official Business’ just yet, it’s because it’s independent research and development that will save the 43rd ward hundreds of thousands of dollars, so it’s top secret. Print that.”
 
Lincoln Park and Lakeview residents claim that they’ve seen the van parked around the neighborhoods before, and were formerly concerned. But once the addition of “Official Business” was declared on the side, they assumed that it was a city vehicle that could be trusted.
 
“I used to see the 1993 white unmarked van driving around the schools pretty slowly, and I always figured something was up,” said Lakeview resident Shelley Drang. “But once I saw that it had been commissioned as ‘Official Business,’ I assumed it was one of those handicapped vans, and that it was driving slowly so that people in wheelchairs in the back wouldn’t roll around too much.”
 
Residents were surprised and saddened to know that a government official, specifically one associated with their local alderman, would deceive them in such a manner. When reached for a statement, Vi Daley’s office had a very brief statement.
 
“The 43rd Ward assures you that at no point has driving slowly by schools in a conversion van with tinted windows been a part of our official business. That’s way more 44th Ward style.”