Classy Guidance for Chicago's Plebeians

Dear Lower Upper Middle Class Guy,
Our company recently asked everyone to accept a pay cut or the company would be forced to implement layoffs.  I’d hate for my friends and co-workers to get the axe but I can’t afford to take a pay cut.  

Steve, Aurora

Steve,
I’m not sure you asked a question there Steve, but I’ll respond anyway. First of all, Aurora?  Really?  Did you win a house there or something?  Second, have you given any thought to the possibility that if you don’t accept the pay cut it’ll be you that gets axed?  My company recently offered employees early retirement incentives. Pretty sweet deals considering they’re all old and they’ve been on cruise control the past few years.  Some of them wouldn’t take the offer because by doing so they’d get a reduced pension.  Since so few took the offer we had to lay off employees; some of those laid off were same old useless employees offered the early-out incentive we were trying to get rid of in the first place.  Only now they’re forced to take a lesser offer and their pension is reduced by a greater percentage than the deal they turned down.  I know what you’re thinking, win-win.

Dear Lower Upper Middle Class Guy,
I’ve been out of law school for a couple of years now and I work for a non-profit organization that provides low-income individuals with legal assistance.  I realize that the decision to work for a non-profit was mine, and I don’t regret that decision, but I’ve found I’m becoming increasingly jealous of my friends who choose to work at big firms.  Some of them earn annual bonuses that are more than my salary.  Do you think the joy I get from helping a family avoid eviction will eventually outweigh the desire to earn a little more? 

Sarah, Wicker Park

Sarah,
No. 

Dear Lower Upper Middle Class Guy,
It was announced on Monday that we are officially in a recession.  This comes after over a year of increases to the cost of living and companies going out of business.  Isn’t it a little ridiculous that it takes the experts this long to declare a recession? 

Brad, Highland Park

Dear Brad,
What I’d like to know is who the fuck cares?  Does the fact that there’s a label on this “economic crisis” make things any better?  Does the fact the National Bureau of Economic Research pin-pointed the start of the recession as December 2007 make it any easier for GM to sell automobiles?  Do you think those that were laid off during the last twelve months are now eased by the knowledge they weren’t fired during a mere economic downturn but it was a full-fledged raging recession?  Get your head out of your ass, Brad. I expect more from Highland Park.  Dick. 

Dear Lower Upper Middle Class Guy,
Do you think Obama is making the right decision appointing his political rivals to key cabinet posts?  It seems a little risky to me?  

Gene, Evanston

Gene,
One thing I’ve noticed ever since the election is more people are wearing White Sox hats at the East Bank Club.  As a long time Sox fan it’s a little annoying.  What amazes me is there are more people jumping on the bandwagon now than there were when the Sox won the 2005 World Series.