EmoMe

Mood:  Introspective
Currently Listening:  What a Catch, Donnie--Fall Out Boy

This is my favorite song they have released as a single off their upcoming CD, Folie A Deux. It's such an emotional song and it really speaks to me, especially the chorus.
"I've got troubled thoughts and the self-esteem to match, what a catch, what a catch." And then it gets better with,
"I will never end up like him, behind my back I already am."

It is just soooo powerful. It's amazing commentary on the faltering mental state of today's youth and how people can be glaring contradictions. I swear, Pete Wentz sneaks into my room at night and reads my diary. How else would he know exactly what lyrics to write to match all of the life experiences I'm having right now? He just amazes me.
Sigh. I'm torn between being really happy for him and Ashlee and being insanely jealous of her. She's married my Romeo. Nights like this make me miss Evan.

Anyhow, on to more important matters (like ones that don't involve cold hearted ex-boyfriends who think it's totally fine to not return even one of my 17 texts in the past three hours explaining exactly how I feel about him via the medium of The Academy Is... lyrics). Recently someone left me a really mean photo comment on my MySpace (myspace.com/cursetothehearse). They told me that my photography is a joke, and that nearly killed me. I put a lot of effort into my angles and lighting. Sometimes I even use a self-timer instead of doing the arm-length shot, and sometimes I'll use a flash and sometimes I won't. But did they take that into consideration? Of course not! They were too concerned with destroying me from the inside out to think about my feelings. I've already removed them from my friends list and blocked them. I don't need their negativity.

I was walking around town today (going to Reckless Records, the absolute best music store in all of Chicago) in my regular attire of skinny jeans, tattered old black Chucks (high-tops), and my red Clandestine Industries hoodie, and someone stopped me and asked me if I was dressing up for Halloween. I just looked at them and turned around to walk back home. I couldn't stand to be near anyone that close-minded. It really bummed me out, too, because I was finally going to buy Copeland's new CD that I have been looking forward to for months. But I just knew that if I kept walking towards Reckless Records that I would encounter another person just like that. I shed a few tears on my way back, but thankfully I had put on waterproof mascara and eyeliner before I left the house. I knew when I woke up that it would be a struggle to get through the day dry-eyed.

Some days I worry that I talk about Pete Wentz too much and how amazing I think he is, but then I check his Friends or Enemies account (http://www.friendsorenemies.com/web/foe/users/clandestine) and I see that more people have added him as an enemy. I just feel like I need to praise him more and more to make up for all of the haters in his life ... I just wish people would put more effort into understanding people like him and me. We're troubled souls. I wish people could appreciate us for who we are. We're just like everyone else ... we just wear more eyeliner and spend more time disheveling our hair. It's an art form, not an accident.

So long, readers. Hopefully next time I blog I have some better news for you ... maybe some day Panic (!) at the Disco will return to their A Fever You Can't Sweat Out sound and then maybe the world will be okay again.

-xoxo Lily Lullaby