Sarah Palin To Perform Abortions On Epic Scale
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The bombshells continue to stream out of Alaska. Friday’s announcement that Sarah Palin would resign as governor of the 49th state was only the beginning. Today, Palin ended speculation about her future plans.
“Abortions. And lot’s of ‘em.”
Prior to today’s announcement, some pundits believed Palin was clearing her schedule in order to prepare for a 2012 run for the White House.
“The Presidency does not interest me,” the former Vice Presidential candidate said flatly. “I only want to perform abortions. Abortions by the barrel. Abortions of an unfathomable magnitude.”
Palin was uncharacteristically calm and articulate as she answered reporters’ questions one by one. Gone was the neophyte who stumbled famously in interviews with Charles Gibson and Katie Couric.
“If I haven’t been clear, from now on I will be focused on one word and one world only: Abortions. We’re talking abortions on a biblical scale. I will do absolutely nothing else with my time.”
Palin’s husband Todd and their five children stood behind the soon-to-be-former governor outside their Wasilla home.
“I’ve left the care of our children to Todd. I’ve left the care of our state to Lieutenant Governor Parnell. Now I’m free to do what I love.”
Palin also displayed her trademark sense of humor.
“What's the difference between a hockey mom and an abortion doctor?”
The press waited silently for the answer.
“Nothing!”
Palin was asked when she would begin this new chapter in her life.
"Immediately. I already have several abortions scheduled right here in Wasilla. Unfortunately there’s just not enough opportunity in The Land of The Midnight Sun, so I’ll have to take my act to the lower 48. The journey of a thousand abortions begins with a single step.
“With a single abortion, that is.”
One reporter asked Palin about her change of heart, noting this was a striking departure from the strong pro-life rhetoric she exhibited in the gubernatorial election of 2006 and in last year’s Presidential race.
Palin shook her head and chuckled knowingly.
“You say a lot of things to get elected.”
